Am I a feeder or a feedee? How to tell
Not sure which side you're on? A simple, honest way to work out whether you're more of a feeder, a feedee, or somewhere in between.
A lot of people know they're drawn to feederism long before they know which part of it is theirs. Here's a simple way to work it out, without boxing yourself in.
Start with the daydream
Picture the scene you keep coming back to. Who's doing what? If you're the one cooking, offering, encouraging, and watching someone enjoy it, that's the feeder side. If you're the one being fed, spoiled, full, maybe growing, that's the feedee side. The role you place yourself in when nobody's watching is the honest answer.
Quick gut checks
Lean feeder if you light up at:
- Preparing food for someone and seeing them enjoy it.
- Encouraging, spoiling, taking the lead.
- The idea of someone softening because of your care.
Lean feedee if you light up at:
- Being fed, taken care of, told to have more.
- The feeling of fullness, or the idea of gaining.
- Letting go and being looked after.
"Both" and "not sure" are real answers
Plenty of people are a switch, feeling both depending on mood or partner. Others are still exploring and don't have a label yet, which is completely fine. You don't have to decide today, and the answer can shift over time. For the full map of terms, see the feeder and feedee glossary.
It's not only about food
Sometimes the pull is really about care, trust, and letting go more than eating itself. Noticing that helps you say what you actually want, not just which word fits. If you want to understand the whole thing first, read what is feederism.
What to do with your answer
Once you have a sense of it, put it plainly in your profile, it helps the right people find you. See how to write a feeder or feedee profile, then look around on Crave.