Feeder dating: where do I actually find real people?
An honest overview of where feeders and feedees really meet today: apps, communities, and what actually works.
"Where do I even find someone who's into this too?" is the most common question in my DMs. Here's my honest overview.
1. Specialized platforms
I'm biased, but Crave is built for exactly this. Profiles are real, there's actual moderation, and you don't have to swipe through a thousand vanilla profiles to find your people.
2. The big international pools
Feabie and Grommr are large and established. Good options if you're open to international contacts and don't mind a busier, less moderated feel.
3. FetLife
Works for networking and groups, less so for dating. There are active feederism groups worth joining if you want the community side.
4. Reddit and Discord
r/feederism, r/Feedism, a handful of Discord servers. Anonymous, fast, but mostly talk rather than real meetups.
5. What does not work
- Tinder with "feeder" in your bio. You'll get reported.
- Personals sites from 2008. Dead or spam.
- General BBW apps. Not everyone there understands feederism.
Tips for real meetups
- Chat first, then video, then in person. Don't skip steps.
- Meet somewhere neutral like a café, not a restaurant the first time.
- Talk it through beforehand: what do you both want, and what do you not want?
Last word
There are far more of us than you'd think. We're just in concentrated places. Go where the community already is, instead of looking for it everywhere.
Create a profile and spend a week browsing. Looking for a specific side? Start at find a feeder or find a feedee.