Gaining across the distance: our long-distance weight-gain story
A feeder-feedee story that began online: how to share closeness, motivation, and enjoyment even when you rarely see each other.
We live almost three hundred miles apart. At the start I thought feederism at a distance was a contradiction, how is it supposed to work if neither of you can feed the other. A year later I know: it works, and surprisingly intensely. This is our story.
Dinner together over video
Our ritual is simple and I love it. We each cook for ourselves and eat together in front of the camera. He watches me, I watch him. He asks if I'm going back for seconds, and usually I do, because I know how much he loves to see it. Sounds unspectacular, but for half the week it's the moment I look forward to most.
From a distance the focus shifts. It's less about feeding by hand and more about words, about attention, about the feeling of being seen. Honestly, that made me more open than a quick meetup ever could have.
Motivation that doesn't taste like pressure
I'm someone who sabotages herself easily. He found a way to motivate me without it feeling like a task. Small messages. "How full are you right now?" "Tell me what you snacked on today." Never a quota, never a number I have to hit. Just real interest, which strangely makes me enjoy it more than any plan ever did.
If you slip into performance mode easily yourself, read Is feederism healthy?. It helped us separate enjoyment from pressure cleanly.
The visits are the highlight
When we do see each other, usually every few weeks, it's like a long, spoiled weekend. He cooks, I let myself be taken care of, and we catch up on everything that video can't do. He always says he notices between visits that something has changed, in the way the jeans fit, in how soft everything has gotten. I think I love that moment of reunion most of all.
What distance taught us
- Talking is everything. If you rarely meet, you have to be honest, or nothing grows.
- Rituals beat spontaneity. The fixed video dinner carries us through the week.
- Enjoyment is mental too. Attention sometimes fills you up more than the plate.
We're proof that it isn't the miles that matter, but whether two people want the same thing and talk about it honestly.
If you're still looking for someone like that, start here: find a feeder or a feedee.
Names and details changed.